When a person is abandoned by their spouse, it is one of the deepest wounds. Marriage is instituted by God as a covenant so that two remain united in faithfulness. When this covenant is broken, injustice occurs. Therefore, we can clearly say: It is not just that the faithful one suffers while the other becomes unfaithful.
But God himself remains just. He does not abandon the abandoned, but takes their suffering into his hand. Christ himself was abandoned—by his disciples, who fled, and by Peter, who denied him. On the cross he cried out: “My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46). Therefore, he knows the pain of being abandoned not only from the outside, but from within.
Here, Scripture leads us to a decisive truth:
“It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.” (1 Peter 3:17)
Both suffer—the one who acts unfaithfully and the one who remains faithful. But one suffers because of the evil he does, while the other suffers because of the good he upholds. And this suffering for the good is fruitful because it shares in the suffering of Christ.
Paul says: “If we suffer with Christ, we will also be glorified with him” (Rom 8:17). And again: “It has been granted to you not only to believe in Christ, but also to suffer for his sake” (Phil 1:29). Thus it becomes clear: The suffering of the righteous is not empty suffering, but a cross that Christ himself bears with them and that leads to glory.
The Fathers confirm this:
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Augustine: God allows evil only to bring forth good from it.
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Gregory the Great: Suffering is like a file that shapes the soul.
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Thomas Aquinas: The suffering of the righteous shares in the suffering of Christ.
Therefore, being abandoned remains an injustice on the human level. But spiritually, it means: The faithful one not only bears a wound, but carries a seal of Christ within. He suffers, but he suffers for the good—and this suffering is justified by God and transformed into a crown.
Pastorally, this means: If you have been abandoned, you have not been struck senselessly. Your pain is great, but it is not empty. You do not suffer for a sin, but because you stood in faithfulness. And thus you have become like Christ, who himself remained faithful even when he was abandoned. In God’s eyes, this is suffering that does not perish, but bears fruit—for you and for many.